My friend Rachel and I were finishing up our lunch in the school cafeteria. She followed my gaze as I stared at some other girl walking past. Her ass was marvelous. I made a very loud “Mmmm” sound, which made Rachel sigh in disgust.
“You know, you talk a really big game but I bet you wouldn’t last an hour down there.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your whole ‘oooh look at me, I’m sick and depraved I wanna spend the rest of my life glued to some chick’s giant asshole’ thing is a good schtick but I bet you couldn’t do it if you had the chance.”
I was incredulous at once. There were few things I was as defensive about as my levels of depravity. I couldn’t believe Rachel was challenging me on this.
“You realize who you’re talking to, right?” She rolled her eyes.
“Yes, yes, I know you’re a sick fuck, Mark. You brag about it all the time. But it just isn’t practical. You wouldn’t be able to last.” she said.
“How do you figure?”
“Well first of all, your body would force you to panic. It would be too claustrophobic for you. That level of tightness and being unable to move. Unless you’re David Blaine, being stuck down there is gonna make you go crazy.”
I thought about this. Rachel continued.
“And that’s not to mention the lack of air. I don’t think you realize how stifled and oppressive it would be in there. The low oxygen levels would make you panic even more. You’d be clawing at her asshole, begging to be let out within twenty minutes I bet.” she said.
“It couldn’t be that bad, and besides you don’t need as much air when you’re small. The claustrophobia would be the farthest thing from my mind. I’d be too turned on to care.” I said with a grin.
“The first fart would have you choking, vomiting, and throwing in the towel.” she said, matching my grin with one of her own.
“Not a chance.”
“One of mine would.”
“Hah! You act like you’ve never farted around me before.” I said. Rachel rolled her eyes again.
“You’re not seeing the difference. Yeah, I’ve crop dusted you in your room before but that’s nothing compared to what it’d be like at ground zero. It would sting your eyes, fill your mouth, burn your nose. You’d be so small that you’d actually be able to feel the minuscule flecks of shit getting ejected.”
I fixed her with a confident smirk.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
“Ugh. You’re so gross. But I’m telling you. This dream of yours would turn into a sweaty asphyxiating nightmare really quick.”
“Hah. ASS-phyxiating.”
“I hate you.” she said and got up to take her tray back. I watched her ass sway as she did. Would it really be so miserable down there? I doubted it. I was getting hard just watching Rachel’s twin globes of butt flesh strain against the fabric of her jeans. Nah. Logic be damned, I would be too busy licking every inch of every crevice while jerking off to notice anything else. I got up to take my tray back and then everything changed.
I was submerged in total darkness and my stomach dropped like I’d just hit the first incline of a rollercoaster. The cool atmosphere of the air conditioned cafeteria was replaced by oppressive humidity. I yelped and flailed as I hit ground that I couldn’t see. I struggled to stand, struggled to feel for my surroundings but I couldn’t really tell where up was. I rolled to a stop suddenly. Breathing was very difficult. What little air there was here tasted of something very foul. My brain sent panic through me. I had only a vague idea of what was happening even before my phone buzzed. I struggled to pull it out of my pocket to read Rachel’s Facebook message.
“How long do you think you’ll last?”
I growled and typed my response.
“Damnit Rachel. Now? I’m wearing a really nice shirt.”
“Aw, that’s so sad for you.” she wrote, with a crying emoji.
My panic had subsided a bit now that I knew where I was. I used the light from my phone to get a look at my surroundings, and they took my breath away. I imagined that this was similar to the feeling the astronauts felt on the moon landing, taking in a wonderful alien landscape for that very first time. I had come to a stop right on the ridges of Rachel’s asshole. A stray strand of ass hair rose over my head as I craned my neck to take in everything. In the distance I could see the rising mountains of flesh that were her butt cheeks. I turned around and saw behind me, the chasm itself. So much for claustrophobia, she had made me the perfect size. I could move around easily. I sent her another response.
“This is gonna be so easy. Also, you missed a hair the last time you shaved.”
She sent a few laughing emojis in response.
“You’ve been in there five minutes and I’ve been standing still. It’s gonna get much worse. Just wait until tennis practice.”
The thought of sweat pooling around my current surroundings made my cock just about flinch with excitement.
“You realize I’m gonna jerk off on you right? Like ten times. I’m not sorry.”
I got a vomit emoji for that.
“Whatever. Not like I’ll feel it. And that’s nothing compared to what I’ll be doing to you. Speaking of which.”
The ridges of Rachel’s asshole moved as the massive thing opened up to expel untold amounts of gas from her depths. There’s very few other ways to describe it other than to say she farted and I was right at the epicenter of it. Her description from earlier couldn’t have prepared me for how bad it was going to be.
The sound was like a building exploding and I would have covered my ears if I didn’t have to dig my fingers into puckered flesh just to keep from being blown away. I had gotten my mouth and eyes closed but it didn’t matter much. I was positive that some of her shit particles had hit my tongue. My eyes burned from the now totally ever present fumes, making tears leak down my cheeks. And the smell was shockingly bad. It was like a slaughterhouse had been closed down mid-way through the work day and just left that way. She must’ve had meat for breakfast. It hung in the air all around me, making breathing almost impossible. Even worse somehow was that I felt the fart on my skin and on my clothes, in the sweat covering me. It was disgusting. I gagged. Around me, Rachel’s body moved and I felt the vibrations of her laughter. My phone buzzed as the calamity around me subsided.
“I hope your mouth was open.” Followed by like six laughing emojis for good measure. I growled and responded.
“Fuck you. What did you eat?! Christ.”
“Bacon and eggs, normal stuff. I should’ve waited to do this after eating pizza or something. It would’ve been even better.”
“That was awful.”
“I told you! You want to give up and admit I was right?”
“No chance. I haven’t even defiled you yet.” I had already fought with my cock to get it out of my jeans. I angled my phone to take a picture of it, managing to get Rachel’s looming hole in the background. I sent it.
“Classy. I’m impressed that you didn’t give up though. Have fun while I’m at class, I guess.”
Before I could start typing, an earthquake began. Rachel was walking. It was incredible to feel the vibrations of each massive footstep, even at the epicenter of her asshole. Things got much hotter after a moment, though. I imagined that she’d gone outside into the late August heat. It had already been bad but it did not take long for it to become unbearable. Rachel’s sweat started to pour itself over me as she walked. Breathing became tough with her sweat getting into my mouth. I spit it out. After a few minutes, she mercifully got to her destination. And then she sat down.
Gravity took over as she parked her massive hindquarters on the chair in her classroom. Where I had been mostly vertical with her asshole before, everything tilted and I dropped downward. Thankfully, her thong caught me before I could fall too far. The soft, sweat soaked fabric held me in place like a hammock. Her cheeks spread to accept the distribution of weight and the thong rose to greet her asshole. When all the titanic shifting around me had stopped, I was pressed against it again. Despite feeling like I’d been at the center of the tectonic apocalypse, I hadn’t really moved much. Awesome. I started to jerk off while Rachel sat through her class. Using her sweat as lubricant, it really didn’t take long for me do cum, spurting eight or nine shots of messy load onto my friend. Gasping with exertion, I leaned my head forward and gave Rachel’s pucker a soft kiss. Then I got back on my phone.
“Just came on your asshole. Think that makes you my girlfriend now.” Wink emoji. Heart emoji.
“You wish. I don’t date short guys.” I actually laughed at that. She continued typing, “I wonder what it’d look like for you if I fucked someone while you were there.”
My stomach dropped.
“NO. THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE DEAL.”
Laughing emoji.
“What deal?”
“Rachel. Fucking seriously.”
“What’s the matter, Mr. Depravity? Oh my god, what if you fell off and landed on the giant dong!” Laughing emojis.
“That’s not funny. You can’t do that.”
“I’ve told you before I like anal. I think I figured out how to make you tap out!”
I was a little panicked. I was not willing to test her on this. I didn’t know what to say though, because I didn’t want to give up.
“Oh, relax. I’m not going to do that. This time anyway. Now leave me alone I’m trying to pay attention to class. And since I was teasing you I’ll give you fair warning to hold your breath and close your eyes.”
More flatulence assaulted my senses, but Rachel’s warning had done me well. I kept my nose, eyes and mouth closed and managed to escape most of the foulness. I was used to the general smell of her asshole by that point. After a while, the earthquake from before returned as Rachel got up. I assumed class was over and started preparing myself mentally for tennis practice. That would be a whole new test. Before I could think much about how hot it was going to get, everything changed.
I stumbled and almost fell face first on the sidewalk. I looked up, right at Rachel’s amazing jean-clad ass, and continued raising my gaze as she turned around to meet it. I was confused.
“Uh. I never gave up.” I said.
“I know, don’t worry. You win the bet.”
“But why? That couldn’t have been more than an hour.”
“Go figure, I got uncomfortable with it before you did. Having you down there was starting to turn me on and I want to go masturbate before practice.”
My mouth hung open and I was suddenly very conscious that my pants were still undone. I fixed them quickly.
“Why’d you let me out then? That would’ve been-“
“I know, I know. You would have enjoyed that way too much, that’s why.”
“Ugh. No fair.”
“Cry me a river. You had plenty of fun, you sick fuck. Now go home and shower. You smell like my butt.” she said and sauntered off into her dorm building. I frowned and then gave myself a sniff. She was right. I did smell awful.