Chris pulled up to 1650 Rue DeBergerac and admired the McMansion in front of him. A brother could get the police called on him just for walking in this neighborhood. He double checked the address to avoid any “misunderstandings,” checked to make sure his the squirming form was hidden by his pocket square. Satisfied, he grabbed the bouquet of roses and bottle of Cristal from the passenger seat, and made his way to the door.
Roxy sprung from the door like a Jack in the box and glomped him pressing her ample bosoms against his chest and gripping tight. The shifting in his breast pocket intensified, and he tried to adjust to alleviate pressure.
“OhmyGodomyGodohmyGod! You’re really here!” She blushed when she saw the condition of the flowers after her exuberant hug, “Sorry, come on in!”
Chris followed her wordlessly admiring her posterior.
“I can’t believe ‘Lil’ C Booker’ is in my living room!”
Chris smiled.
“What’s wrong?” Roxy asked.
“Nothing,” Chris said, “I’m just, uh, taking everything in.”
Roxy’s eyes narrowed, “You sound different. She quickly waved it off, “Might just be the way the phone made your voice sound,” She suddenly remembered the flowers and the Champagne, “I’ll go get some ice for this, and some water for these. Ooh, I’ve never had real Cristal before.”
As Roxy made her way to the kitchen, Chris went to peer into his pocket, but she popped back out the door; so he pretended he was just straightening his blazer.
“Dinner is almost ready. Make yourself at home.”
Chris sat on a nearby sofa and tried to look as comfortable and collected as she probably assumed he was. He went to open the pocket again, but didn’t get far before she called out to him.
“I don’t usually do this. You are actually the first person from online I have ever invited to my house, but I’m a huge fan. You have such a way with words. It’s like all of your songs speak directly to me. I almost didn’t swipe right though. I mean, there was no way it was really you.”
“Yeah?” Chris said.
Roxy came out and sat across from him. Her eyes shone with admiration and desire, “Well...”
“Hmm?”
“How’s about a little freestyle like you did on the phone? I love how easily you go off the cuff.”
“Um, I need a moment,” Chris stammered.
“Did I come on too strong?” Roxy asked.
“Nah, man. Truth be told, I’ve never done this neither.”
“Are you disappointed?” Roxy asked.
“Nooo,” Chris said. He shifted uncomfortably. He coughed. “I just need, well, it’s sort of awkward to ask since we just met. Where’s your bathroom?”
Roxy laughed, “Down the hall, to the left. If you needed to freshen up, all you had to do was ask.”
“Thank you.”
Chris locked the restroom door and pulled a tiny man out of his breast pocket. He looked mad.
“Man, I told you this was a bad idea, but did you listen?” The diminutive figure yelled at him. “Chris, brah, this isn’t like the recording studio, the phone or IM.”
“You know I need you. I really dig this girl. Come on. Give me a few lines. Something to really impress her.”
“Just be yourself,” the tiny man said.
“She doesn’t want me. Everything she likes about me is all you,” Chris said.
The tiny man sighed. “Fine, but you can’t go running to the bathroom every five minutes and not expect her to get suspicious.”
* * *
Chris came back out walking with a swagger. He had always had style, he just tended to blank when nervous.
“I already set the table,” Roxy said. “Care to join me?”
Chris let Roxy lead the conversation over dinner. He complimented her cooking and nodded where appropriate, “How about a private concert,” He smoothly pulled out his phone and set it on the table. He set it to a beat and took her hand. His flow was smooth and she was eating it up. She looked flushed. It may have been the Champagne, but she was definitely getting hot. When he was done, she was speechless for a moment.
“Where do you get your ideas from?” Roxy asked.
“I’m just blessed with a muse,” Chris said.
“Let’s see what else you are blessed with,” Roxy said as she pulled him to the bedroom. Her dress hit the floor in half a second, and she was working on the buttons to his blazer.
It was only when she almost dropped it on the floor that he remembered his passenger, caught it, and casually leaned it on the bed.
They dove for the bed in a whirlwind of hot passion and scattered clothes.
Chris was too distracted to realize that they were both on top of his blazer until Roxy was running her tongue along the edge of his manhood and he looked down to see his buddy angrily mouthing obscenities at him. He was torn. He needed to help him before he was seen, but it felt too good.
Roxy saw his worried expression and shifted, “What’s wrong?” She suddenly looked startled and gasped, “Oh!”
Her breathing intensified, “That feels so good,” Chris suddenly couldn’t see his buddy, “I don’t know what you are doing, but don’t stop,” He wasn’t doing anything, but before he could look around, she had drawn him into her mouth enthusiastically, “mmm,” She looked up at him as she played with the tip in her mouth. She slid it out and turned around.
Chris saw tiny kicking legs sticking out of Roxy and finally realized what happened. He tried to grab them to pull the little guy out, but he was wet and slipped in further. Roxy was letting out short gasps, “I, ah, ah, ah, I’m ready.”
Chris didn’t know how to get him out without hurting either of them. He tried guiding two fingers in. Her right hand grabbed him and guided him in before he could protest. There was a moment of panic as he felt his dick press against the tiny man inside her and tried to pull out, but she pushed back against him, “Don’t stop!”
He slid himself out, to her chagrin. She turned around angrily then realized she was still feeling the wiggling inside her, “What the-“ She reached inside herself and pulled out the offending object then screamed. Chris caught her in his right arm and the exhausted little man in his left hand as Roxy passed out.
* * *
When Roxy woke up Chris had his suit back on and was leaning over her looking nervous. She saw the little man sitting in his breast pocket with what was once an equally nice suit before it got drenched.
“Please, don’t scream again. I can explain,” Chris said.
She started to babble, then composed herself. “Ok, go ahead.”
To her shock, the tiny man in Chris’s pocket spoke first. His voice was surprisingly deep, but also familiar, “Roxy, I am Lil’ C. This is my front man, Chris. We’ve known each other since we were little,” he cleared his throat, “Since he was little. He is one of the few people that knows about my condition. We came to an agreement early on that he would be my public face, and I would be his voice. It worked out great for our career, but it has made having a personal life difficult.”
She took a moment to digest his words, “So, all this time, when we were dating over the phone, it was you I was talking to, but all those pictures ‘to help me through those cold nights’ were him?” She pointed to Chris, “How exactly was this supposed to work?”
They both shrugged.
“I need a moment. Go to the living room while I get my clothes on and think.”
Chris slumped his way to the living room and sat down on the couch.
“We blew it man,” Lil’ C said. “My ribs hurt.”
Chris laughed.
Lil’ C laughed.
“Maybe neither of us are meant to find anyone. I thought I’d lost my voice for a minute there,” Chris said. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this, man.”
“Don’t be,” Lil’ C said, “That was probably the most action I’m ever going to get.”
“I have to admit, it felt surprisingly good,” Roxy said as she came into the living room and sat next to Chris, “Sorry about freaking out, but until that moment, I had a really good time. I’ve been thinking. Why change what has worked for you for so long? If I were to date one of you, I would only be getting half the Lil’ C Booker experience.”
“Are you suggesting dating both of us?” Lil’ C asked.
“I honestly don’t think either of you can function as one person anymore. Would you both be ok with that? There are things we have to work out down the road, but I’m willing to give it a try if you are.”
“Now we need a moment,” Lil C said. They walked to the bathroom. Roxy could hear sharp whispers followed by laughter. When they came back, Chris sat beside her again.
“We’ll do this. I know people who are in stranger relationships,” Chris said.
“Now, where were we?” Roxy asked as she slid her dress back off.